Saturday, July 12, 2008

Top 10 Ways to Avoid Being a Jerk on an Airplane

On a recent flight from London which was 7 hours long, I was having a discussion with my seatmate of all the things about our fellow airline passengers which we hated. We thought it was a nice break to talk about passenger behavior instead of the airline staff behavior, that will be for the next top 10 list.

We put together a list of the top 10 ways you can avoid being a jerk on an airplane or the airport:

10. Have your stuff together by the time you get to the ticket counter. It is amazing how people can wait in line for two hours and when they get to the ticket counter they have to spend 30 minutes getting everything together to check in.

9. Watch your own kids! The only people who find your kids cute at the airport is you, the rest of us are just tired.

8. When your on your cell phone, talk low and away from everyone. There is nothing more irritating then standing at the gate in front of some Donald Trump wanna be who thinks he is in his living room, yelling on his phone via your ear.

7. Don't stand at the gate an hour before the plane takes off. The airline has gone through the trouble to assign zones to everyone. Standing at the gate hours before boarding makes you look like an idiot. Also, the boarding process isn't rocket science, if your in zone 3 and they are boarding zone 1, get your ass out of line.

6. Don't recline your seat in economy unless your actually sleeping: There is about two inches between the back of your seat the and the passenger sitting behind you. Reclining your seat puts your big head in the lap of the guy behind you. Unless you have to sleep, stop acting like a movie star and keep your seat up.

5. Eat your smelly, stinky hot food before you get on the plane: If you absolutely have to buy a hot pizza with anchovies, peperoni and salami, for the love of god eat it before you get on the plane. It's only a three hour flight, you don't have to bring a buffet with you the plane smells bad enough without it.

4. Unbuckling your seat belt and getting into some jokey position at the edge of your seat before the plane gets to the gate so you can be the first to stand up makes you look like an idiot also. I swear, the 2.1 seconds you are going to save by looking like a giant grasshopper before the plane stops isn't worth the silly way it makes you look.

3. Wait until the people around you start to leave before you take your bag out of the bin. I don't understand why people feel like the have to concuss the people around them by trying to take their bag out of the bin while people are crowded in the aisle. Take a deep breath and just wait a few minutes.

2. Let people in the row in front of you out before you go. There is nothing more obnoxious then not letting your fellow passengers out of their aisle before you exit the plane.

1. Most importantly, remember this, YOUR NOT SPECIAL. On every trip to the airport you will run into someone who thinks by virtue of their status, ranking or own imagination thinks they are more special then everyone else on the plane. I don't care if your triple platinum, CEO of some fortune 500 company and you get messages from god, you are not any more special then anyone else in the airport, you just think you are. Before you start thinking your special realize that until you have your own plane in your own airport, you are just another garden variety victim of the airline industry like the rest of your fellow passengers

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2 comments:

The Fab and The Furious said...

well said andrew! people can get very irritating when they act like their a VIP just because they're the CEO of some company. everyone paid for the flight so everyone deserves to be treated equally and with respect.

by the way, thanks for voting for us! we have won Idol Blog '08 Week 1! cheers!

Nomadic Matt said...

that is a great list. I especially like the one about kids. Nothing annoys me more than screaming kids on a plane

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