Monday, July 7, 2008

Things to Think About Today

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted. -- Steven Wright

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. -- Steven Wright

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright

I have two very rare photographs.
One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car.
The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
-- Steven Wright

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.
I got a full house and four people died.
-- Steven Wright

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
-- Steven Wright

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
-- Steven Wright

Smoking cures weight problems...eventually... -- Steven Wright

The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
-- Steven Wright

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the
ocean would be if that didn't happen. -- Steven Wright

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1 comments:

anneberly said...

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