Monday, June 2, 2008

Now It's Time for Funny Air Traffic Control Conversations

A military pilot called for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter pilot that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down. "Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

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Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

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One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

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It was a really nice day, right about dusk, and a Piper Malibu
was being vectored into a long line of airliners in order to land at Kansas
City
.

KC Approach: "Malibu three two-Charlie, you're following a 727,
one o'clock and three miles."

Three-two-Charlie: "We've got him. We'll follow him."

KC Approach: "Delta 105, your traffic to follow is a Malibu, eleven o'clock and three miles. Do you have that traffic?"

Delta 105 (long pause and then in a thick southern drawl): "Well...I've got something down there. Can't quite tell if it's a Malibu or a Chevelle, though."

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Beech Baron: Uh, ATC, verify you want me to taxi in front of the 747.
ATC: Yeah, it's OK. He's not hungry.

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LH741: "Tower, give me a rough time-check!"
Tower: "It's Tuesday, Sir."
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Tower: "Height and position?"
Pilot: "I am 1,80 m and I'm sitting.
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A young and stupid pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies.
So, this one time he was approaching a field during the night time.
Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?"
The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!"
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Lady Radar Controller: "Can I turn you on at 7 miles?"
Airline Captain: "Madam, you can try."
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O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329 Heavy, your traffic is a Fokker F-27, one o'clock,3 miles, eastbound."

United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got that Fokker in sight."
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A United Airlines 747 captain tries to make light banter with Sydney, Australia, Approach Control ...

Captain: "Good morning, Sydney, this is United XXX, we're 50 miles out and have your island in sight ..."

Approach: "Roger, United ... you're cleared to circle the island twice, then it's okay to land."

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