Monday, April 28, 2008

Air Sick Lesson 9 / The Ups and Downs to the Aisle Seat

I have always been an Aisle seat passenger, I think most people who travel for business are. Long since past being wowed by the view outside the window, I choose the Aisle seat for an easy way in and out of the plane.

Lately I have been rethinking my seat choice for several reasons. There are definitely some bad things about sitting in the aisle and they have been getting worse lately. First lets start with the downside of sitting in the aisle during boarding. People bring entirely too many things on the plane then they can carry. The airlines have a crew that do nothing but carry and stow your bag for you but people insist on dragging them onboard. The problem is most travelers do not have the physical dexterity to carry a suitcase, briefcase and their lunch down the narrow isles of the plane without hitting every single person sitting in the aisle seats. Come to think of it, a lot of people themselves getting on the plane are too big to fit down the aisle. I have grown very weary of being smacked by 20 to 30 times a flight by Conan the Adventurer lugging 4 carry on's.

In flight its not bad to have the aisle seat for the most part except for some reason, when the flight attendants are handing out drinks they always seem to park their cart right by my seat. When your sitting next to your garden variety 300 pound business gorilla taking up 1/2 of your seat on the right side, being sandwiched in my the drink cart for 30 minutes really sucks.

The last reason I am tired of the aisle seat, and the funnest to watch, is when the plane pulls to the gate. Contrary to popular belief, sitting in the aisle seat doesn't get you off the plane faster. What it does is give the illusion of getting off the plane faster. It's so funny to watch aisle people as the plane gets close to the gate. First they take their seatbelt off as the plane slows to pull into the gate area, as if that 2 seconds it takes to take the belt off is going to make that much difference. Then they all place their hands on each arm rest and get into a spring position so that when the seat belt sign turns off they can be the first ones to hurl themselves into the aisle. Next time you take a flight you really have to watch this, its the funnest thing you will see on the plane aside from the size of your peanut bag. Once the aisle cattle have cleared the pen and are standing ass to ass in the aisle, for reasons past understanding, they all have to take their luggage out of the bin at the same time before the door even opens. Since their is not enough room for all these idiots to stand at the same time, when they take their bag out they inevitably smack three or four people in the head. I have never understood why they don't wait until its their turn to get off the plane to take their bag down but once again I guess that 5 seconds it would take is just too much.

After much consideration I am thinking that the window seat might be the way to go. As long as people don't act like they were born in a barn and let you out when its your turn, you eventually get off the plane just like everyone else and you save yourself from several chances to get concussed. As an added bonus you get a place to lean your head against so you can sleep and actually the view out the window is nice sometimes.

Promise me next time you fly you watch the aisle people, its the best show on the plane. You haven't seen anything like it since fifth grade when everyone was waiting for the second hand to hit three o'clock so you can jump out of your desk. Yes, the airlines regress us back to grade school everyday.

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SheR. said...

I'm an aisle seat person. I recalled once I was squashed by the humongous aussie lady beside me... so no more window seat! I need breathing space!! Eekkss..

And your mention of those people rushing to get off the plane? It's true! I wonder what's the hurry?? Everyone trying to open the overhead cabin at the same time doesn't help to speed up the process. Silly!