Saturday, April 5, 2008

Air Sick Lesson 6 / Making Your Way to the Gate

After surviving the ticket counter without being arrested, you are now ready to begin the odyssey to the gate. Pace yourself and bring provisions because you can count on two things; first, your gate will be the last gate at the last terminal in the airport and two, that gate will change six times before you actually get on the plane.

The first stop is the security checkpoint. This is where the mountains of people who were standing in the ticketing line from every airline in the airport come together like a merging battalion of troops.

Nothing moves fast in the security line, the only luck you ever have here is you time your flight where not many people are at the checkpoint, usually that is anywhere between 2:00 am and 4:00 am. This is also a time when all those people from the ticket line who finally got their act together figure out where they are going have now lost it again because of some kind of brain aneurysm that effects their short term memories. Somehow between ticketing and the security check point, 80% of the people in front of you have packed their boarding passes in their luggage, lost their ID’s, and let their children go romping through the fields of mass humanity.

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